When I talk to parents, most say what they want most is to just have happy kids. Tal Ben-Shahar, a Harvard University lecturer and best-selling author on this topic tells us that if we combine “pleasure” with “meaning/purpose” we get “happiness”. However, unlike other ingredients, we can’t just buy these off the shelf.

Where can we find such ingredients?

Whether we are aiming for happiness or just contentment, we need to start by accepting that if we leave out one of these ingredients, we might not end up with what we are aiming for. That is, just focusing on pleasure and “chasing things that make us feel good”, won’t do the trick. While it will be an important guide, it needs to be combined with what gives us meaning or a sense of purpose.

So what can sometimes feel like “the million dollar question” is “how do I know my purpose”?

How do we help kids develop a sense of purpose?

For some, they just know, and might wonder why others would even need to think about this. For others, the path is less clear. Thankfully, Tal Ben-Shahar tells us the solution…

“To experience a sense of purpose, the goals we set for ourselves need to be intrinsically meaningful”. That is, we need goals that possess personal significance rather than ones that are dictated by society’s standards and expectations.

Then to find happiness at school or work, we need to add one more thing…

“your child’s strengths”.

So putting all this together we end up with a simple recipe:

Recipe

Add 1 cup of pleasure

Add a dash of purpose your child believes in

Add 2 cups of things your child is good at

How can we help kids know their strengths?

Choose from over 250 age-appropriate labels, quotes and memory prompts to help your child come to know …

• their favourite activities
• what they enjoyed learning the most
• who they admire most and why
• what they may want to do or learn when they finish school and
• even what they would do if they knew could not fail

As Tal Ben-Shahar states so eloquently in his book Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

“If we think about our strengths, about what we’re good at, where our talents reside, and then find the overlap between those and what makes us happy, that’s the ideal scenario”.

Be aware though, this recipe is best made in the slow cooker!